My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
