too bad you live with your parents still
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
