your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
