some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Someone shit on the floor
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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