spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
