I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
