i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
