Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
