Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
