Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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