Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My vagina just recognized that song.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
