Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
A place I should not be.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
