I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
