No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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