what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
