we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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