Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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