remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
