She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
