I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
