woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I need moral support for this bender
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
