Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
