bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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