you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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