I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
