Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
well you can't waste a boner
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Just puked most of my soul out..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
