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All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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