Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Alive.
So much puke
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
