Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
