the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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