belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
