So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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