drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
