Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
