is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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