Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
