Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
