when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
