plz talk dirty to me
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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