Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
