You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I cockslap morals
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
