i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He better not be in your backpack
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
