i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
