I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
