I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
