Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
