ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
