WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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