You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
