you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
