Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
